Okay you’ll probably have to be a geek to enjoy this:
http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religions.html

Reposted for the RSS feeders:

C would be Judaism - it’s old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can’t convert into it - you’re either into it from the start, or you will think that it’s insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.

Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it’s theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn’t feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it’s the best language in the world, but they’re willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.

PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it’s not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and ostensibly keeps the core idea of the whole thing. Also, the whole concept of “goto hell” was abandoned.

C++ would be Islam - It takes C and not only keeps all its laws, but adds a very complex new set of laws on top of it. It’s so versatile that it can be used to be the foundation of anything, from great atrocities to beautiful works of art. Its followers are convinced that it is the ultimate universal language, and may be angered by those who disagree. Also, if you insult it or its founder, you’ll probably be threatened with death by more radical followers.

C# would be Mormonism - At first glance, it’s the same as Java, but at a closer look you realize that it’s controlled by a single corporation (which many Java followers believe to be evil), and that many theological concepts are quite different. You suspect that it’d probably be nice, if only all the followers of Java wouldn’t discriminate so much against you for following it.

Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough to grasp it. Some say that it’s not a language at all; others say that it’s the only language that makes sense.

Haskell would be Taoism - It is so different from other languages that many people don’t understand how can anyone use it to produce anything useful. Its followers believe that it’s the true path to wisdom, but that wisdom is beyond the grasp of most mortals.

Erlang would be Hinduism - It’s another strange language that doesn’t look like it could be used for anything, but unlike most other modern languages, it’s built around the concept of multiple simultaneous deities.

Perl would be Voodoo - An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.

Lua would be Wicca - A pantheistic language that can easily be adapted for different cultures and locations. Its code is very liberal, and allows for the use of techniques that might be described as magical by those used to more traditional languages. It has a strong connection to the moon.

Ruby would be Neo-Paganism - A mixture of different languages and ideas that was beaten together into something that might be identified as a language. Its adherents are growing fast, and although most people look at them suspiciously, they are mostly well-meaning people with no intention of harming anyone.

Python would be Humanism: It’s simple, unrestrictive, and all you need to follow it is common sense. Many of the followers claim to feel relieved from all the burden imposed by other languages, and that they have rediscovered the joy of programming. There are some who say that it is a form of pseudo-code.

COBOL would be Ancient Paganism - There was once a time when it ruled over a vast region and was important, but nowadays it’s almost dead, for the good of us all. Although many were scarred by the rituals demanded by its deities, there are some who insist on keeping it alive even today.

APL would be Scientology - There are many people who claim to follow it, but you’ve always suspected that it’s a huge and elaborate prank that got out of control.

LOLCODE would be Rastafarianism - An esoteric, Internet-born belief that nobody really takes seriously, despite all the efforts to develop and spread it.

Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don’t REALLY need to sell your soul to be a Satanist…

Thanks to jfs and other people on #aegisub for the suggestions. Keep in mind, this list is a joke, and is not meant to offend anyone. Also, if you’re a Muslim, please don’t kill me.

I have a friend, Nathan Sanders, who is pretty much a genius. One of the benefits of having a genius for a friend is - hmm, well - that they’re your friend (I guarantee that you don’t want a genius as an enemy). Anyway, another benefit of having a genius friend is that they can do a LOT of thinking for you. Invariably, after holding a conversation with a genius you will probably think to yourself, “I understood perhaps a quarter of that conversation and to be honest, the problem that he posed has never even crossed my mind. I mean, I can barely understand the problem itself but his solution, yeh I think it makes sense.” You really have no way of verifying whether the genius is actually right or wrong. But this person has been 100% right in the 60% of cases that you DID understand, so you kinda’ have to give ‘em the benefit of the doubt. And so you chalk it up to… if I ever encounter problem X (which btw I did encounter once, referred to his solution, he was right, and it saved me hours of time!).

My RSS reader includes Nathan’s blog which consists of: Functional Programming (thinking/coding like a computer), Linguistics (blah blah and everything pertaining thereof), and Archaic PC/Video Games (um, no comment?). Also, I love listening to and reading Nathan’s general take on life - his style of humor gets me ROTFL.

So, on to the funny part. Today Nathan wrote “Avoid Casual Parsing“. I’ll try to give you my actual process of reading it:

[Ooo, something from Sanders] {clicks on link} …quote …Haskell …regular expression vs. Parsec parsers …Sander’s says, “I can’t agree more” [okay that’s good enough for me - case closed] …Regular expressions = problems.

Oh yes, I have always loved a good story - that comes from childhood bedtime at the Captain home - with countless hours and series’ such as “The Sunshine Boys” and “Oogley Boogley” from my brilliant storytelling father, Ken Captain.

Furthermore, the nerd in me really jives with a good nerd story. So when my fellow geek, Matt Frazier (one of the ringleaders of the CofO Comp. Sci. group), directed me to Dr. Horrible I was immediately infatuated. Act One was brilliant! The crass sexual references within, and the ending took some of the greatness away… but storytelling, music, humor - yep!

So tell me a story that’ll make me feel
Something far-flung but something still real
Something that’s human but not depraved
Somebody in danger but somebody still saved
…And I’m almost gone… but I’m still here.
–Don Chaffer, Waterdeep

Tonight my friend, John, and I discussed the elements of great storytelling. Our conclusion is that there is something that resonates within the human soul when a good story is told. We know when we’ve heard a good story. And we can quickly point out the elements which were off… I think it has a lot to do with justice, mercy, and humility.

Selah

That’s what I ate for dinner tonight! I usually find nutritious things to eat, but tonight soda and donuts seemed to be the right combination.

The pot of Libertini-spaghetti would have been better, but it will still take another six hours for the sauce to cook down (thanks, Herins, for the garden tomatoes). Plus, the sauce is already pledged to the Rudy Guerrero family (blessings upon baby Isaiah).

I loved Nathan Sander’s blog post on ‘Al Bhed’. It was actually exciting and sensible when he described it. Of course, he could probably describe the process of rewiring an electrical outlet and make it seem intriguing.

Looked up the reference to “l337 haxx0r” = l33t haxor = leet hacker for someone, since I “be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the g33k that is in you with meekness and fear” (in KJV for Mel, in leet speak for my co-worker).

And then the word “hacker” reminded me of Paul Graham, so I visited his website and enjoyed a quote he posted, “The less confident you are, the more serious you have to act.” I rarely act serious… too bad affirming the consequent is a logic fallacy. The quote, “Your twenties are always an apprenticeship, but you don’t always know what for,” should give some of us hope and joy in the journey.

I found a new template to apply to my blog face soon (it has some cool web 2.0 jazz), so keep a look out for that.

Okay, well, I have made it from iTunes: ‘George Frideric Handel’ through ‘Georges Bizet’ while surfing the net, which means that it is high time for me to turn in for the evening.

May God bless you,
and keep you,
and cause His face,
to shine upon you,
and give you rest!

I have really enjoyed online Pandora Radio. For a free service (or at least very cheap), it has provided a very respectable product: ad-free, personalized, on-demand music channels - exactly what I am looking for.

But it looks like its days may be numbered. The issue comes down to the fact that the recording industry doesn’t feel that they are being fairly compensated for the artists’ music. I’m all for fairly compensating artists. Now, whether or not it’s fair for an oligarchy to pay a select few hand-picked performers millions of dollars while systematically limiting the not-pretty-enough artists to can-i-pay-my-rent wages - well, that’s another question entirely!

You can research the main scoop and the major players here.

My opinion as a consumer, which apparently doesn’t matter, is that I WOULD like to fairly compensate the artists AND the online providers. I’ll volunteer to pay the 2.6 cents per hour royalty charge that SoundExchange is clamoring for. But, and it’s a firm BUT, I want that 2.6 cents to be evenly divided between the artists who’s songs I listened to (and if I skip it or give it a thumbs down it doesn’t count). Are we all clear?!!